Dear Victoria’s Secret,
BRING IT BACK!
You know what I’m talking about too. Due to the very public nature of this website, I will not go into specifics, but you know what I’m talking about.
I only ever agreed to shell out $48/bra because I had found “the one.” But, much to my disappointment, “Erin” your sales associate informed me that you no longer carry “the one.”
Seriously? Would it have killed you to continue making what is undoubtedly the Worlds Most Comfortable Bra?
Well, sadly I must now find other ways to spend our income tax refund.
Thanks, Victoria, Thanks.
P.S. Give that Erin chic a raise. She brought me “D”s instead of, well, my real size.
P.P.S. Although the “D” gesture gave me a momentary confidence boost, don’t think it minimizes the hurt, and the betrayal, and the tears caused by you discontinuing my favorite undergarment.
February 22nd, 2007
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Jessica |
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I just now watched last week’s season premiere of Desperate Housewives. I feel like it’s getting back to it’s roots with the great one liners (which I felt were lacking nearly all of last season).
My favorite quote from this episode is when Bree and Orson are “messing around” and Orson becomes a little experimental (I’m trying to keep it clean, this is a PG-13 blog) and Bree stops Orson:
Bree: “Stop! You can’t do that!”
Orson: “Why not?”
Bree: “Because I’m a Republican!”
HAHA! I almost cried I was laughing so much. There were several other very good one liners, but nothing nearly as funny as this one.
October 1st, 2006
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Jessica |
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Last night’s AI proved to be enjoyable and entertaining. I can’t really compare it to previous finales because I haven’t watched a finale since Kelly Clarkson won the first season.
Here are some of the moments from the finale that I’m not likely to ever forget:
#10- the video collage of Simon right at the beginning of the show
#9- Meatloaf seizing at the beginning of his song. I thought he was awful. I almost wish the judges would have commented on the celebrity performances because I’m dying to know what Simon would have said. Plus, I’m weirded out because Meatloaf looked like a scary, homeless version of one of my college professors (G. Deaton).
#8- McBoobies.
#7- Any scene involving Michael Sandecki, aka Fake Aiken. Here are some (poor quality) pics. His facial expressions are priceless! The faces he makes while singing are similar to the ones I make if I stub my toe or better yet, the face I made when I saw Clay Aiken and his new 'do. These are pics of him during his performance last night.
#6- when Chicken Little attempted to sing “Tobacco Road” in a bass voice and then went on to embarass himself further by singing “What’s up Puthycat.” I’m convinced whoever chose him to perform that did so for the sole purpose of giving me blog material. Note to self: Write the produtherth and ask them to rethink having thomeone with an obviouth lithp thing a thong with a million S’s in it.
#5- Carrie Underwoods performances. She’s so beautiful and incredibly talented. She’s left no doubt that she deserved to win last year.
#4- Mary J Blige’s outfit which makes it look like her boobs are sweating profusly. 
#3- Elliot’s “One” performance which was awesome. He definitely should have chosen that song during the competition. He was awesome. I’ll be one of the first in line to purchase his CD.
#2- “In the Gheto” performance by Taylor and Toni Braxton. Taylor was great; Toni, on the other hand, had to be lip syncing. Her mouth moving was not in sync with the words and every other word was too airy to even hear. She was terrible- and the part where she forced Taylor to molest her was just embarassing. He definitely had to exert some Soul Control at that moment.
#1- The part where Taylor won. After Chris was booted, I didn’t have a preference about who won. I think this year is the best Idol since season one. I think each of the last four contestants, Elliot, Chris, Katharine, and Taylor will go onto have good careers.
May 25th, 2006
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Jessica |
Etc |
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Don’t say I didn’t warn you….
American Idol on Wed night was HILARIOUS! My predictions were slightly correct, as Randy “checked it out” 6 times, unfortuantely, though Randy (not Simon) referenced a song sounding like karaoke. And, Paula had definitely been throwing back some of grandpa’s cough syrup because Simon had to pull her arms down to keep her from clapping over her head and embarassing herself. I caught him giving her the “stop being drunk” evil eye once.
Poor Bucky said good-bye. I was disappointed because I feel like he sounded better every week. I think Ace should have gotten the ax. I agree with Jennie- he’s hot, but he cannot sing. And, he’s weird. He’s had several very akward moments on the show.
Anyway, the funniest part of the entire show was when they played another one of those Ford videos. It cracked me up! It was entitled “Hit Me with Your Best Shot” and they were dressed up in awful golfing gear. Bucky, by far, looked the worse, followed closely by Ace (who was wearing pink and purple). Bucky looked like the bastard child of Alan Jackson and Snoop Dog. It was terrible! I even paused it so I could enjoy the moment that much longer.
You’ve got to check it out.
April 14th, 2006
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Jessica |
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I have a favorite new show, Boston Legal, and I thoroughly enjoy it for several reasons.
It’s a very liberal show. Afterall, it’s actors playing attorneys; it doesn’t get more liberal than that. Every week when I tune in, I half expect to see Susan Sarandon joined hand in hand with Bill Shatner (much to my delight, she has yet to make an appearance). This is why I enjoy the show- it’s a great avenue for liberals to act out their utter disdain for the current state of affairs in the world. I much rather they act it out while playing sleezy, yet very entertaining, lawyers on TV as opposed to using award shows to do so. This is why it’s so entertaining to me; I’ve always seen liberals as living in a fantasy land and with shows like Boston Liberal, they now can. It’s great.
It’s hysterically funny and very different than any other show on TV that I’ve seen- yet another reason I enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, I like the CSIs, NCISs, Law & Orders, but they’re all the same. I like the House’s and Grey’s Anatomies of the world, but within a two week period, both shows covered the same medical drama (lowering a persons body temperature to stop the heart, in order to find a blood clot, find the clot, then rapidly heat the body up again before the patient dies for good). So, it’s refreshing to see a show like BL that doesn’t have any clones out there, yet.
It also warms my heart to see William Shatner find a role that fits him like a glove. He’s oddly good as Denny Crane.
The website mirrors the show in entertainment value. It allows you to log in as Denny Crane and view case notes, such as:
I find the liberal roots of the show both disturbing and entertaining- more so entertaining, which is why I continue watching it.
March 27th, 2006
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Jessica |
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Great episode last night (”Could I leave You”), but only one good quote that I recall:
Carlos: That was our lawyer. Olivia rejected us as parents.
Gabrielle: Why?
Carlos: Because we’re Mexican.
Gabrielle: WHAT?! That’s discrimination. It’s illegal. We can have her arrested.
Carlos: It’s her baby. She can do whatever the hell she wants to do with it. Damn it!
Gabrielle: No, No. You don’t just toss people aside because of the color of their skin.
Carlos: We tossed those birth mothers aside because of their appearance.
Gabrielle: Well, that’s different.
Carlos: Why?
Gabrielle: Because I’ve read the constitution and it does not protect ugly people.
March 27th, 2006
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I loved, loved, loved Ace’s performance of Father Figure a few weeks ago on AI.
His last two performances have been mediocre, but I don’t effin care, he’s hot. I have the Father Figure performance on TiVo and I watch it approximately twice a night….every night.
Here’s who I like:
Mandisa- she’s very talented and I really like her personality
Chris Daughtry- he’s cool and can sing
Paris- She’s good….her voice annoys me, but she’s talented
Taylor Hicks- he’s different and good. He’s like the bastard child of Jay Leno and Rod Stewart.
Lisa- she’s very talented, but I don’t think she has a niche following
Ace- he’s hot and has a good personality, but he’s not consistenly good. If he would just sing Father Figure every week, he’d win hands down 
Kelli Pickler- she’s fun, but not as good vocally as some of the others. She’s got a good story, though, and people really like her.
Everyone else is OK….none of them are consistently good. I think the winner will be Chris Daughtry. He’s got the look and he can sing. I think America is ready for a rocker to win and he’s just the one to do it.
I also think that contestants could save themselves a lot of heartache if they just consult me prior to picking their song choice. It’s unbelievable to me why they pick some of the songs they do….my jaw drops when they start a performance. I think the song choice last week was HORRIBLE. I also think last week America voted well when they got rid of the basketball chic. She had awful stage presence and her song choice was less than desirable. I’m glad she’s gone.
March 13th, 2006
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Jessica |
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Gabrielle to Carlos: “We need to get laid!”
Stares from other prisoners.
Gabrielle to prisoners: “Oh don’t judge me! You’re not in here because you got caught helping the poor!”
******
Bree’s son and George get into a scuffle in the front yard. Son pushes George. George pushes back. Son pushes George onto the ground.
Bree is infuriated and rants about how inapprorpiate this is.
Bree: “George, we’ll see you Friday night for dinner. I’ll be serving fish.”
October 17th, 2005
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Jessica |
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Phyllis: “Look at him. Just chatting away. So inconsiderate.”
Bree: “Phyllis, we’ve only been waiting here for 2 minutes.”
Phyllis: “I told you when we left the house that I needed to eat. I have low blood sugar. Do you want to see me keel over?”
Bree: “No…in theory.”
*******************
Susan: “I have not even begun nipping into Edie Brit yet! Ah! That peroxide vulcher!”
October 6th, 2005
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Jessica |
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